After extensive investigation, and with the help of a courageous whistleblower, we can now reveal the true cause and real culprits behind the Deepwater Horizon / BP oil spill: right-wing extremists.
Home-grown terrorists with connections to neo-Nazi survivalists in Idaho and eastern Oregon and militia groups in Michigan and Texas deliberately sabotaged the oil rig, leading to the explosion and subsequent spill that is still gushing into the Gulf of Mexico. The sabotage was planned by an Alaskan sympathizer, a devotee of Sarah Palin with a background working in the oil industry, and was carried out by a member of the group from Texas who managed to get a job on the rig. It is not known at this time whether this individual is among the survivors, or if in fact he perished in the explosion he himself caused.
Originally, the act of sabotage was planned for April 19 – a day of great significance among American right-wing extremists, as the day of the fiery end of the Waco Siege and the Oklahoma City bombing (see, eg, here for some background). However, the group feared that this might make it too obvious not only that it was a deliberate act of sabotage, but also who was responsible – which would have interfered with their overall aims. The sabotage was therefore moved to April 20 – as Hitler’s birthday still a significant date, but it was felt the connection would not be made.
Their primary aim was to discredit President Obama with a Hurricane Katrina-scale disaster on his watch. To that end, members of the group infiltrated a number of disaster management organizations in the region, including FEMA, the Coast Guard and the Red Cross – planning to subtly disrupt and sabotage the emergency response to create a more widespread and damaging situation that would reflect badly on the Federal government in general, and the Obama administration in particular.
Another motive behind the attack, and the factor that determined the specific choice of targets, was concern about foreign control of what the group had come to see as a crucial component of national security: oil, and energy supplies more generally. The hope was that the spill would reflect so badly on BP – British Petroleum – that both they and Shell would be blocked from further oil extraction activities in America’s strategic energy reserves in the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska.
For these reasons, it was crucial that the true cause of the spill – deliberate sabotage – and the identity of those responsible be kept hidden. The Alaskan sympathizer’s study of the Deepwater Horizon facility made it clear that the safety systems in place were woefully inadequate, with a major lack of redundancy and backups; it seemed likely that only minor and almost certainly detectable sabotage would lead to an explosion and a major spill, as in fact proved to be the case…
As you may have guessed, this is a complete fabrication, a work of fiction. Nothing I’ve written here – beyond the issue of the inadequacy of the safety systems on the rig – has any basis in fact (as far as I know).
What I find interesting is that it is not really any less plausible than the conspiracy nonsense being spewed by people like Rush Limbaugh – who reportedly suggested that environmental extremists might have deliberately caused one of the worst environmental disasters in years.
In fact – stripped of the thriller aspects – my conspiracy theory actually seems a bit more plausible: that right-wing extremists might be behind it as an attempt to discredit Obama and/or foreign control of American oil, and that the date of the explosion was chosen deliberately.